9/13/09

The one TRUE Console War

The console wars of today are a complete joke. They're nothing like the 16 bit war. 360, PS#, same ol' shit. Wii? Not even worth mentioning. That's just that system that has OMFG No More Heroes.
Anybody here remember the epic War between Nintendo & Sega?
It was the stuff of legends.
At the end of the day it was we consumers who benefited the most from the 16 bit Wars, because that era left a literal gold mine of greatest hits of all time.

Why were these times called a war? Simple really.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/North_American_video_game_crash_of_1983
Long story short Nintendo rose from the ashes that Atari both built & unintentionally destroyed.
Nintendo from Japan swooped in & maintained an iron fist on the gaming market by employing a systems of checks & balances that would ensure
that the gaming market would not over saturate itself again.
Quote:

The American video game crash had two long-lasting results. The first result was that dominance in the home console market shifted from the United States to Japan. When the video game market recovered by 1987, the leading player was Nintendo’s NES, with a resurgent Atari battling Sega for the number two spot. Atari, never truly recovering, could not manage to match the success of its 2600 console and finally stopped producing game systems in 1996 after the failure of the Atari Jaguar. Japanese control of the North American market continued for over a decade.

A second, highly visible result of the crash was the institution of measures to control third-party development of software. Using secrecy to combat industrial espionage had failed to stop rival companies from reverse engineering the Mattel and Atari systems and hiring away their trained game programmers. Nintendo, and all the manufacturers who followed, controlled game distribution by implementing licensing restrictions and a security lockout system. Would-be renegade publishers could not publish for each others’ lines, as Atari, Coleco and Mattel had done, because in order for the cartridge to work in the console, the cartridge had to contain the appropriate key chip for the lock inside the console, and the publisher had to also acknowledge its license to Nintendo in the copyright notices. If no key chip was present or if the key chip did not match the lock inside the console, the game would not work. Although Accolade achieved a technical victory in one court case against Sega, challenging this control, even it ultimately yielded and signed the Sega licensing agreement. Several publishers, notably Tengen (Atari), Color Dreams, and Camerica, challenged Nintendo’s control system during the 8-bit era. The concepts of such a control system remain in use on every major video game console produced today, even with fewer “cartridge-based” consoles on the market than in the 8/16-bit era. Replacing the security chips in most modern consoles are specially-encoded optical discs that cannot be copied by most users and can only be read by a particular console under normal circumstances.

Nintendo reserved the lion’s share of NES game revenue for itself by limiting most third-party publishers to only five games per year on its systems. It also required all cartridges to be manufactured by Nintendo, and to be paid for in full before they were manufactured. Cartridges could not be returned to Nintendo, so publishers assumed all the risk. As a result, some publishers lost more money due to distress sales of remaining inventory at the end of the NES era than they ever earned in profits from sales of the games. Nintendo portrayed these measures as intended to protect the public against poor-quality games, and placed a golden seal of approval on all games released for the system. Most of the Nintendo platform-control measures were adopted by later manufacturers such as Sega, Sony, and Microsoft.


This is MADNESS, This is tyranny of the highest magnitude.
Although at the end of the day, the majority of the NES line up actually were good quality games.
This trend continued to the 16 bit era just moments after SEGA Genesis weakened the PC Engine FX to the point of surrendering.
SEGA killed the PC ENgine's base of operations. SEGA was not a beast yet though. For Sega allowed PC engine's licensed characters such as BONK to continue on living, & carry on the memory of the PC engine along with them. (Bonk released a few ames for SEGA & Nintendo. Similar to how Mario made Sonic his bitch during the 2000's.)

It's around this time that the SNES showed up to the Genesis's door stop, and then, and then....
THE WAR BEGAN!
Each game that was released during this period was like an exploding atom bomb of gaming goodness that affected all who stood in its path.

Round 1: Sega laughed at SNES. Fuck you bitch. We gots arcade perfect ports of Golden Axe, & Altered Beast. We got Space Harrier bitch. Mothafucking Rambo. What chu got fool!

SNES calmly replied with Actraiser, Super Mario World, Super Castlevania IV.

SEGA is like meh whatever. At least you SNES tards have better games than Legendary Axe. LOL that's the best game that the PC Engine could muster!?

Round 2: SEGA is still standing around with their arms folded. Show me wha chu got, Show wha chu got. Nothing that's wut. Not get off my yard bitch.

The SNES calmly rinsed their spectacles a bit, and put them away.
Then BAM a fucking roundhouse kick to the temple with LEGEND OF ZELDA: A LINK TO THE PAST.
This fucking shit caught Sega off guard, but Sega was still like
"Fuck you. That was a sucker punch that shit didn't count."
The SNES then snickered, and BAM SHORYUKEN!!!!!!
SNESE unveils a near arcade perfect (for the time) port of Street Fighter II.
Anybody who remembers how much of a phenomenon SF II was back then would know the full gravity of how powerful a death blow this was.
Thankfully Sega was still standing. Albeit shaken a bit.

Round 3: AH Fuck now Sega knew Nintendo was serious.
Sega could no longer ignore this miserable gnat, and thus officially began the first ever Console Wars.
The years following that were, and still are some of the best years that gaming has ever had.
Super Mario Kart, Streets of Rage 2, Ecco the Dolphin 2, Sonic the Hedgehog 1 - 3 + Sonic & Knuckles,Secret of Mana, Sunset Riders, TMNT Tournament Fighters, Turtles in Time, Pocky & Rocky 1 & 2, Kirby Super Star, Gunstar Heroes, Nba Jam, Castlevania Bloodlines, Contra Hardcorps, Super Metroid, Final Fantasy VI, Xmen (SNES), X men Clone Wars (Genesis), MEGAMAN mothafucking X, Super Punch out, Super Metroid, KILLER INSTINCT, Ogre Battle, Chrono Trigger, Thunder Force IV, Revenge of Shinobi, Shinobi III, Phantasy Star IV & II, ToeJam & Earl, Ranger X, Rocket Knight Adventures, Battletoads & Double Dragon, etc.

Most of the console exclusive games were made in retaliation to the other system.
Sega got the upper hand for a bit when they released Mortal Kombat with blood.
(Whereas the SNES version bled sweat.)
SNES retaliated back with MK II, so the fight was still on.
The war finally ended when Sega's lifebar was flashing in the red, and they started unleashing their DESPERATION ATTACKS.

The 32X, and Nomad......................................................................

Round 4: SNES just laughed at Sega's puny desperation moves, and hit them with a couple quick jabs of Starfox, Killer Instinct, Super Mario Rpg, Chrono Trigger, and the GOAT Kirby Superstar.

Round 5:
Sega officially lost, retreated, & came back to finally murder the SNES with the Sega Saturn.
Only to be soundly trounced by the Sony Playstation, LOL.
The games that truly killed Sega Genesis were Street Fighter II, Super Metroid, Final Fantasy VI, Legend of Zelda, & Chrono Trigger.
These were the game that sold the system over Sega.
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Now you see that was an actual war. I owned both systems, but I played the SNES more, because the console exclusives were fucking crazy, and they just kept on coming, & coming like the fucking energizer bunny.
I only remember playing Shinobi III, SOR 2 & 3, Phantasy Star IV, & Monster World for my genesis.

The 16 bit war had two fully able contenders.
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SEGA GENESIS: The hip cool stereotypically badass thuggish Black guy who'd whoop yo' ass in a fight. (Shmups, Beat em ups, etc.)
He may have not been the prettiest, or the sharpest of the bunch, but he was sure fast (Sega games were faster than Snese games.), loud (SEGA!!!!!!) & took no prisoners.
This was the system that all the cool kids, & jocks owned.

Everything Sega did exuded style.

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Super Nintendo: SNES was like that sneaky animu asian mobster who wore spectacles.
He wasn't anywhere near as loud, or fast, but every single move he made was cold & calculated. Whereas Sega pretty much did everything at random hoping that one of their games would be a hit.
SNES almost always struck back with well timed blows that would chip away at Sega's endurance, before unleashing the final blow of Super Metroid, Killer Instinct, Chrono Trigger, Final Fantasy VI, etc.
This was the system that most of the gamer nerds owned.
(Save for the people who bought an SNES solely for Mortal Kombat II, Street Fighter II, & Killer Instinct.)
__________________
These combatants were relatively evenly matched as you couldn't really say which was the better system.
Sega games had more Arcadish style games, and SNESE had slower "immersive experience" games.
The plus & minuses of the two evened out.

The so called console wars of today are nothing more than over glorified cash whores.

XBOX 360
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360, the Bulgarian prostitute. Always available. Happens to be the leading "hardcore" gaming system. Simply because the rest of the competition doesn't have any games. Although what the 360 does have isn't very impressive either.
Yeah she looks pretty, but that's all she really is. An advertisement of pure shallowness. Look at my Ass. I hope my ass distracts you long enough before you finally realize that all 360 games are just shitty remakes of PC classics.

PS3
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PS3, the Japanese pornstar. She's just like a normal Japanese girl, (PS2, & PSONE) except bigger, & better in all the right places.
Unfortunately she is the least accessible for two reasons.
They all live in Japan, and only speak Japanese. (Plus maybe Spanish, Tagalog, Portuguese, French, but rarely ever English.)
In other words the only PS3 games worth giving a damn about are all PS3 Japan exclusives that will remain forever stranded in Japan. (Ryuga Gotoku 3.)

So as hot as these bitches are. Who cares? When it's so damn hard to obtain one of these babes.

Wii

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Wii, the little girl on a swing.
Look at the little girl go, back & forth on her little swingee.
Wii, wee, wee Wiggle waggle controls.... oh yeah I guess Wii plays some games, some.
Ooh look little girl on a swing.
Eventually the novelty factor of a little girl on a swing wears off, and then you wake up to reality.
Little girls on a swing aren't sexy at all.
SUre she may have her little crazy No more Heroes bitch fits every now & then, but I see that as merely slightly amusing.
Rather than anything that even remotely resembles K.O. power.

Seriously how the fuck can people even dare to compare the console wars of today to the console wars of the 16 bit era.
The 16 bit era was a full on STREET FIGHT!
Current Gen is just two sexy ass whores slapping each other in the ass, & verbally harassing one another over money. Around the corner somewhere is a random little girl in the play ground doing her own thing wig, wagging back in forth until she gets bored.

6/13/09

Spiffy comics part 1: DEATH's HEAD II

http://killer7.6.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?t=1509
This is the begining of a series of posts where I recommend some underrated, & unknown comic books.
I'd like to go with one of my childhood favorites for my first post. (I plan to post some manga as well such as MBQ, Worst, etc.)

Death's Head II

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Try to imagine the Terminator, with the ability to absorb powers, a durability, & healing factor on par with the Wolverine, the sheer size, & hunting prowess of the Predators & a sad case of multiple personality disorder. The main personality being the original Death's Head who had a wild British sense of humour.
Add in a sexy side kick named Tuck, bucket loads of gore, & T&A galore.
What you're left with is a comic that bears some resemblance to the adventures of Conan.
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The story is about an advanced cyborg called Minion.
He was created by Doctor Necker.
Minion was in the process of assimilating instincts, & traits from the world's top personalities. He kills his targets & enhances his own abilities when he assimilates the victim's prime individual characteristics into his own consciousness.

However the Minion project went haywire when he decided to assimilate the robotic bounty hunter Death's Head.

Death's Head's persona was so dominant that the Minion project begun to act erratically. This was due to a psychological battle that was being fought inside Minion's head.
Death's Head & Minion were fighting over as to whom would become the dominant persona.
Death's Head's personality usurped Minion's programming with the help of Reed Richards from the Fantastic Four.
This then gave birth to Death's Head II. Minion's body, and the original Deaths Head's personality.

Enough about that. While DH II's background story kicks ass. The plot of the comic itself isn't that great, nor memorable. What I love about this series is the witty dialogue , & the badass art.
You would never guess that this guy has a keen sense of humour just from looking at him.
DH II is one of the most overpowered characters in the marvel universe. (He's the original Death's Head, Wolverine, Megaman, the Terminator, & the Predator all rolled into one.)
It's makes me wonder why they don't bother to use him much.
















Yes I'm aware of DH III. However it needs to be said, Death's Head 3.0 sucks.!

He looks cool, but that's about it. He's just some badass robot. BORING!
The problem here is that DH 3.0 was created by the original creator of Death's Head.

I'm a hardcore fan of DH II, because of his personality, & Liam Sharp. (The main artist of the DH II series.)
This man tells it like it is about what made DH II so fucking awesome.

Quote:
Brahma: Feb 25, 2009, 6:48:01 AM

Death's Head II has always by far been my favourite character in the whole Marvel universe. It's such a crying shame we don't see him anymore. DH2 had more personality than 90% of Marvel characters put together.

What I liked the most about the character was that DH2 was in a strange way one of the most believable character in the MU. Disregarding the fact that he was a hitech-cyborg, that thing that made the character believable was that DH2 was not clearly a hero or a willain, but made his moral choices on case-to-case basis.





























DH II didn't really have any villains either. The closest DH II had to an arch enemy were Dr. Necker, & Wolverine. DH II's relationship with Wolverine is just some kind of friendly competitive rivalry.

Dr. Necker is some kind of love & hate relationship.
Sometimes she's an ally, most of the time she's an enemy.
You could never really tell with her.
(This is why I think it's a travesty that Dr. Necker came back in Ultimate Marvel just to get pimp slapped around by costumed superhero freaks. The real Dr. Necker would've made mince meat out of them just for disrespecting her.)

Then again DH II's is the same way. Sometimes he's a hero. Other times he acts like a villain.

I'd also like to add that DH II had an amazing cast of supporting characters.
Mainly Tuck, & Dr. Evelyn Necker.
The banter between the three is hilarious.

These are the key traits that are missing from the original DH, & DH 3.0.
They don't have the "character" that DH II had.

Another thing that makes DH II untouchable is that he's basically a cyborg Conan.
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Over the top gore, gratuitous Tits & Ass, hilariously abundant dark humour. DH II had everything that Conan had, but in a futuristic medieval setting.

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Liam's art style had a cyberpunkish fantasy medieval tone to it that is noticeably absent from the other Deaths Head's.
This cover is by Simon Bisley, but they have a similar art style. The main difference is that Liam draws prettier woman. Both artists seem to be heavily influenced by Frank Frazetta.
While the original run of DH II had quite an abundant amount of T&A.
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At least DH II was consistent. Both men & women have their clothes ripped off in this series. It's almost an unwritten rule in most comics that only the women get their clothes ripped or burned off.

I think DH II's biggest downfall is that he's a marvel character. (DH II would probably still be around today had he been an independently owned character from Image, or Darkhorse.)
Marvel superheroes suck.
This blog sums it up best.
http://itcamefromdarkmoor.blogspot.com/2008/08/icfd-cover-of-week-17th-aug-2008.html
Quote:

It's a collaborative effort between the immense talents of Mr Liam Sharp and Mr Simon Bisley. Now THAT'S a pairing! And it's exactly the kind of reason that I started doing this feature. Overkill had so many great covers and possessed a tone which we certainly felt here in the UK, but I'm not sure translated entirely to American readers. It was grittier over here. Dirtier. But in the most enjoyable sense.

I find myself missing Death's Head and Tuck more and more by the year. I find it hard to believe that Marvel would opt for the reinvented Death's Head 3.0 in favour of this guy. He had so much more to offer. And offer it he would, for the right price...

Marvel UK comics generally had a darker, more mature tone.
Typically most comics only get the gore & T&A right, but leave the sophistication & complexity at the door.
I loved DH II, because they felt like they came straight out of the Heavy Metal (The Euro erotic comics.) universe.

DH II was one of the few Marvel superheroes to have a personality that was actually "human".
Heads will fly, and panties will drop. This is the cybernetic Conan. Otherwise known as
DEATH'S HEAD II.
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DH II Scans
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The X-Men arc.
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MISC
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This panel sums up my thoughts about DH II.
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How much longer do I need to wait for a Death's Head revival? DHII ended prematurely way back, because Marvel UK went belly up.
DH II's comicvine page

6/2/09

Yoga Flame! Miku's calves of steel.

Now back to them Indian bastards.
Nah fuck it.
Join us in the next post. As the
The "Hawtness" Takayama


presents to you the bubblebath of divine sexiness, Miku Hoshino.

OKStupid.com

I was looking through some of my old profiles from a couple years back. You see I'm an idiot.
I unknowingly registered to many different online dating services in the past.
Even my account on myspace was a mistake. (I registered on myspace back in '05 to join a video game group to advertise my site. I had no idea it was a match maker site.)
Okcupid is one of the many that I registered for. Why? I was simply filling out stupid ass quizzes.

I applied for membership simply to see the completely irrelevant results.


Well anyway fuck that. I checked out that piece of shit site the other day, and I noticed that I had a couple of "quivers" I don't know what the fuck it is, but I'm assuming that quivers are people who are enticed by your profile.
Oh shit, these girls are a bunch of fucking freaks. Are you sure that's not a man in drag?

Ah shit, Girl looks like she came straight out of Total Recall. No that's cousin IT. It's a giant mutated thumb from Silent hill.

Is this some kind of joke? The bitch is fat. No fat chicks allowed. I'd rather take my chances with the chick with a dick.

Yeah I know I'm a shallow ass bitch, and what of it? At least I admit as such.


I mean fuck.
I actually look more feminine than these women, and I'm not exactly girly looking to begin with.
That's something that I'll never understand about internet. Why the fuck am I always approached by the freaks?

I get hot chicks interacting with I most of the time in real life.
Yet I'm nerd fodder on internet. Hah hah most of my peepz have Misa Campo added on their myspaces. I don't, because she didn't fucking add me back. (Not surprising. Not even my own relatives who are also models or were at one time don't add me back either.)

That's how much bad luck I have with women on internet. I should thank goodness that my net life is nothing like my real life. (Women are interested in me for some reason when they see I in real life, but I'm treated like a piece of shit online.)
I'm thinking this partly has to do with I being Asian.


You see the only people who are actually attracted to Asians are fetishists, and impotent nerds with no social skills. Now the funny thing is. I don't exactly look "Asian" when it comes to the common American perception of the term. To most Americans when we think of Asian men. We usually think of cats like him.

You know someone who looks weak, childish, easy to dominate.
Hell Masi Oka is so small that even the Veronica Mars hottie towers over him in both stature & body mass. (Kristin is only 5'1.)
Alright that's enough of I ripping on him. The basic point that I'm trying to illustrate is that if your Asian. People expect you to either be feminine or at least have a feminine passive like personality. The only reason why Masi is so accepted by mainstream America is because he's a fetish. He's what women go for when they want something that's a bit out of the norm.
How this applies to me is that since I'm Asian. People assume feminine, & zen like qualities into my well being. Regardless of the fact that I'm really just your everyday stuck up snobby ass American who happens to be born a certain ethnicity.

It's my opinion that I would actually attain better online results had I listed myself as either Middle Eastern, or Latin Hispanic. (I technically am partially Hispanic, because I come from a bloodline that's intermixed with Spaniard nobles. I still classify myself as Asian anyway, because both of my parents are Asian.)

I've noticed
through out my life experiences that I'm often treated with much more respect when people assume I to be of Latin origin. Not only that, individuals also assume typical Latin stereotypes into my personality such as the dreaded "Latin lover", or the "exotic foreigner".
However I'm just classified as one weird rapist passive aggressive motherfucker whenever people find out that I'm an Asian.
(I hardly ever tell anybody what I ethnicity I am. I let them find out for themselves.)
As such people tend to attribute all these weird ass Masi Oka like qualities into me. Simply, because I'm the same blood stock as he. Which is madness, because I look nothing like him.
Not only that I don't even act passive aggressive to begin with. I'm a blunt stuck up bastard.

It irritates the hell out of me, because some women expect I to have a personality similar to that of a stereotypical Asian. (A follower personality. Someone who kisses up to others, & stays in the background.)
I'm like fuck no. Sure I guess I am somewhat stereotypical.
I'm an asshole chauvinist like a typical East Asian Indian man.
Speaking about the Indians. Shit, some of these fools look like they're kicking some mad game.



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They kinda have reason to be chauvinistic. I don't even know how I could compete with these fools.
They're way too attractive. (& that's I saying that as a straight hetero sexual man.)
I should just be thankful that most Indians seem to only be attracted to other Indians.
Just look at that mothafucka in the suit. He's all like "Make mah sammich, Bitch!"

Now where the fuck was I? You know what fuck it. I'm changing the subject.
I'll conclude this current post in three, or four sentences, & then start a new post about them damn Indians.
Men who are classified as Asian have are likely to attract nerdy ass freaks who lack social skills. Regardless of how the Asian man appears, or acts. Preconceived Asian stereotypes have a tendency to overlap the individuality of the person in question.
(At least when it comes to online match making.)

5/27/09

"On his back more than my ex-girlfriend."



DREAM 9

I stayed up all night yesterday just checking up on the live play by play results in anticipation for the return of the Kid.
I was also gunning for an upset by Jose Conseco, Hah hah.
Fuckin' shit! I can't believe the gangsta lost by split decision.
To think this entire event was centered around his return, and he didn't even make it past the first round, LOL.

I think Kid's problem was that he refused to change up his strategy.
It reminds me of those matches in Street Fighter where the opposition keeps trapping you using the same move over, & over due to a reluctance to change your game.
Kid lost due to a time out.
Just like Street Fighter.
Though Kid would've won in SF II terms, because he was doing all the damage.

What really surprised me is how fucking useless Kid's normally good wrestling was in this match.

Got to hand it to Warren though.
He played it smart.
It seems to me that he was only looking for a win over Yamamoto.
Whereas Yamamoto was looking to straight up kill Warren in the ring with one punch.
It's the difference in philosophy between these two that decided the match.


Shit, his wife looks pissed.




Time to reminisce about better days. The guy he's pounding on insulted his sister, and called his wife a whore.








Ah man this was the fight that made me a fan. Hah hah damn Kid's a bitch. Kid just clocked him in the face after he knocked him out.



I swear I never seen a little guy who packed so much power in his punches.

















































Conseco was surprisingly decent. Sure his match was funny as hell, but he sure faired much better than what most would give him credit for. He may have actually had a chance to win if Hong wasn't so damn huge.
I was getting worried that he'd get his ass killed for a bit, because Conseco didn't train for the fight, and he had his fucking girlfriend corner for him. It seems that Jose wasn't aware of how that he was entering into a real sanctioned fight. (He prolly assumed it was another one of those celebrity publicity matches.)




What really killed Conseco was that he kept trying to show off his Tae Kwon Do skills when he should've just stuck to punching.
The main thing that killed Conseco were those damn kicks.
Look at that last Shin kick that Jose connected. Jose's shin must've been in serious pain after that.

If I were him I would've only went with heel kicks & kicks that use the sole of my feet.
In general what he should've done with his kicking arsenal was use them to position his punches. Kick Hong away hard enough, and then rush in with a mean hook or two while Hong's readjusting his guard.

I swear a straight from a trained Jose has the potential to knock a giant out. It's too bad Jose may never fight again. (Look at the terror in his eyes once he got socked in the face.)



As expected, Jose got canned.
Look at how fucking clueless he looks in the pic.
Still though I think it's fucking hilarious how an Ex Baseball player actually put up a much better match than actual trained fighters such as Bob Sapp, & Mark hunt.
Who were also fighting in the card last night.

Props to the Juice man.
A toast to Jose, for getting his ass beat.
Getting paid 6 figures just to get his ass beat, and actually doing some damage while getting beat down.

Roidnosaurus Rex deserves to be rewarded with a stable of sexy ass big butt Brazilians in a string bikini.

Hot diggity damn her thighs are mesmerizing.