I've had it with these fuckin' Hamsters on a plane! part 2

Since I randomly decided to start posting at this blog again.
I figure that I might as well repost several posts I've made at other blogs.
(I don't feel like taking the time to write some new posts for the time being. There's a lot I want to talk shit about, but so little time.)
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14 February 2009 @ 03:37 pm

I usually don't write blog posts much , but I just had to write this joint up, because it was one of the weirdest fucking dreams that I ever had. This shit is even more fucked up then part one. Which was about a blonde midget bitch in Nike windbreakers with a passing resemblance to Gwen Stefani who kept calling me a five yr. old through 7 different dreams, until I finally punched her in the face.

I've had it with these fuckin' Hamsters on a plane! part 2

I just had the weirdest fucking dream. It was some cross over movie between Batman, & Fushigi Yugi.
I saw the dream from two points of view. One as the Chad grunger guy from Sailor Moon who bummed around the hot chick, Rei Hino's house. Coincidentally the "rei Hino" chick of this dream happened to be that
"We fought wars in Baghdad over her"
girl , who happened to be a fan of Rei Hino in real life.
The other pov as me. Just a mere random mothafucka who stayed over the night to watch the big premier of the movie that "that girl" starred in.(She was Miaka.)
Yes that's right she was in the Batman meets Fushigi Yugi movie. (Not what the film was actually called, as only fans of Fushigi Yugi would know that it's actually some fucked up crossover with Fushigi yugi.)

In the begining we see the Chad guy trying to make the moves on "that rei girl", and well just like Sailor Moon she shrugs him off every time with the Chad guy making a fool of himself, falling down the stairs, & shit.
A couple moments later my mom drops me off at their house, and I'm depicted as my 21 yr. old self, and I'm sporting my trademark mobster pimp look.
"that rei girl's" mom was represented as my aunt who has enormously huge fake nasty ass tits.
Hell, the mom was like the only woman who spoke to I in this entire dream.
Well anyway some typical ass anime shit happens between the people in the house, but then it starts to take a turn for the weird when the dream fast forwards 30 days into the future.

Chad is trying to deliver roses to "that rei girl" for valentines day, but he has a hard time finding her.
He eventually gets sucked up inside the toilet of "that rei girls" house, and finds himself in what looks like modern day Shibuya, but everybody is dressed up as if they just stepped out of a fucking time machine, because they're all wearing kimonos, and shit.
Chad's like "where the fuck am I?"
He runs up some stairs leading up to a bridge walk way in a nearby mall, and runs into "that Rei girl".
Her eye's widen, and exasperatedly asks him "What are you doing here?" "How'd you get here?"
Chad is like "I, I have no idea." "I just wanted to bring these to you" (Referring to his bouquet of roses.)
"That rei girl" looks at the roses, shakes her head, and calls him an idiot.
Might I add, that during this portion of the dream "the rei chick" is actually dressed up as Miaka, and even has her hair worn up like Miaka.

She pretty much looked exactly like Miaka, except with dark blackish brown hair.
Some stupid ass song comes on, probably a theme from Fushigi Yugi. I wouldn't know, because I never seen Fushigi Yugi before. I've watched a couple of episodes when my pops held a job in Japan, but hell if I know what the hell was going on in them.
I never know what the fuck is going on in these stupid anime shows. I do like anime, but only the badass anime like Golgo 13, Ninja Scroll, Basilisk, shit that contains plots that actually make some fucking sense.

We're then treated to a montage of events that Chad & Rei girl go through in this imaginary Modern japan world where mothafuckas are still geared up in Hakamas, and all the women were wearing loosed fitted kimonos with no sashes like it was some fucking period era pinku eiga.
In this montage we see the young couple jumping over explosions, kissing while falling free fall in midair in the middle of the fucking sky, HAh hah. I even saw one scene it was the stereotypical Asian melo drama scene where they both attempt to kill each other in the middle of a mothafucking ocean to some horrible asian love music, during a rainy ass stormy night, yet their hair still managed to look perfect, and they kept telling each other "I love you". It was fucking nauseating.
WHO WRITES THIS SHIT!? Was what I kept saying to myself.
The couple were doing all sorts of crazy ass shit in this montage that them dumb mothafuckas do in their dumbass animes.

The montage finally ends ,and the dream gets back to me. Waiting at the house. Doing jack shit, being bored as fuck.
A couple hours later the movie premier begins.
I was came there with the main star woman, but we didn't speak to each other at all.
Well, nothing substantial that I could remember at least.
SO the movie starts.
It's Batman, by the fucking Wachowski bros.
Yes, you could already imagine how that shit turned out.
It was like Speed Racer. Bright ass animu colours that make your eyes bleed, and all these random ass asian people, who you don't even know who the fuck they are, and to make matters worse.
Their role in the movie didn't even make any fucking sense.
Just like Rain, & his asian crew in Speed Racer.

I'm like WTF! What the FUck is this shit!
When I watch a movie, I expect to see a mothafucking plot. Not this random ass shit with Batman fighting crime, and then for some unknown reason we cut to these scenes of random ass asian people. Doing whatever the fuck people think asians do.
(Kung fu, Drift racing,import models, breakdancing, typical ass shit that Asian Americans do.
Fuck Asian American culture. Asian American culture sucks, because half the shit they do isn't even Asian to begin with.)
Here's the twist though. The asian scenes were actually the Fushigi Yugi part of the movie.
In fact that montage scene, and the part when Chad gets sucked down a toilet were actually part of the Batman movie.
Don't even bother to ask me what the fuck Fushigi yugi had to do with Batman, because whoever wrote the mothafucking script needs to get fucking shot for this abortion of a screenplay.
IT MADE NO FUCKING SENSE AT ALL!
The movie sucked so much ass that most people who came to see the movie actually walked out before it even ended.

Even the lead actress, the girl who I supposedly came with walked out before the movie ended.
Batman was supposed to get sucked into The Fushigi Yugi world himself, and he gets into a rivalry with the Chad guy, because it turns out that the Chad guy is actually an ancient triad mob king who was distantly related to Xiang Yu, Lu Bu, and mothafucking
Genghis Khan


or some other random ass shit like FU Manchu, that some racist ass mothafuck came up with off the top of his head.
Well Rei girl, and Batman were also supposed to kiss & have some steamy ass hot sex with each other during the movie, but I never got to see that part. (Yes I remained at the theater long after the lead star girl walked out of the screening.)
Why? There was this big ass farmer looking dude sitting a seat next to the lead star girl.
He was there with a girl, but I guess that was just his sister.
Why you may ask, because this big mothafucka tried to make moves on me.
He even put his bigass hands on my shoulder.
That's when my ninja speed counter reaction senses kicked in, and I automatically punched him in the face.
I was like
"What the fuck is wrong with you bitch. You gay or some shit! Get's the fuck on out of here."

That's when everybody started leaving the theater. Granted there wasn't many people left in the theater to begin with, because the Batman/Fushigi Yugi movie was fucking horrible as hell.
(Since this was the Wachowski bros. There were also some mandatory Fastfood restaurant pseudo philosophy French Man scenes that just went on forever, and ever, and ever, and we didn't even get the added benefit of a Monica Belluci make out scene.)
Well, anyway the big gay ass mothafucka I punched, just shrugged it off and was like
"What?, I wasn't doing anything."
I was like hell nah, so I finally walked out of the shitty ass movie.
Here's the problem though, since the girl I was with stormed off without me.
I had no idea where to go, because I completely forgot where the fuck she lived.
So I started walking back home.
I don't know what the fuck it was. It must've been open season night or some shit, but another gay ass mothafucka tried to come on to me.
Except this time he had slicked back hair, and he was average sized. About 6 ft, 165ibls or some shit.
Or at least I assumed so, because I knocked this mothafucka's teeth clean the fuck out with one fucking punch.
I sent his gay ass to the pavement. This is Concrete Brawlaz, bitch!

So I'm walking home, I'm walking straight into a landfill... and another gayass mothafucka tried to grab my nuts or some shit.
I was going to kick his ass too, but I was like ah fuck it, because I finally realized that I too was in my own movie.
It was "Land of the Dead", but replace the zombie's with gay ass mothafuckas.
So I was actually in a movie called
"Land of the Gays"
To those of y'all who already know how much Land of the Dead sucked ass.
Then you already know what's coming up.

Basically Land of the Dead was political satire of the Bush regime, and it also served as a social political message about how you shouldn't treat zombies like shit. Even though they eat us humans, Eat girl's nipple rings out, eat our children, and they kill lesbians! I hate lesbians, because they don't screw men, but that's beside the point.
Why, in Romero's world Zombies are people too.
You could just imagine how absurd this concept got with Zombie's being replaced by Gays.
Just watch this clip I uploaded, but mentally replace all those fucking zombie with some of the gayest fruits who you have ever seen.

When Riley says "They're just looking for a place to live." Try to project him saying that about the Land of the living dead Gays.
There was probably even a gay equivalent of "Big Daddy" the zombie who lead the Zombie rebellion from Land of the dead as well, but I didn't stick around.
I woke up when I realized how fucked up the dream became.
I didn't want to be eaten out by a bunch of gay mothafuckas like what had happened to the people in Land of the Dead when the heroic zombies came to eat their brains out.

t(^o*)t In a nutshell what had happened was...
The beginning of my dream was really just the set up for a horror movie.
You know like how Michael Jackson's Thriller began at a movie theater? Same shit here.
Except you replace the dancing Zombies, with dancing Gay ass homosexuals.
Think YMCA, but with a murderous intent to get inside your pants.
The Batman Fushigi Yugi crossover movie directed by the Wachowski bros. was just a movie within a movie, that in itself was also part of a movie.
You know what this sounds like?
A parody of David Lynch's Inland Empire.
which was also a movie, inside a movie, inside another movie, that happened to be another movie, on top of a skit about some creepy ass rabbits, that also originated from another skit about an Asian girl and her friend that was later used in the movie except they replaced the asian girl with another Japanese girl who talks about her friend who had a hole in her vaginal wall. That said girl turned out to be blonde wigged Masuimi Max who had a monkey that took a shit everywhere (These are Lynch's words about that damn monkey, not mine.), but then that skit itself was also made into a movie.

Damn, I'm just glad I woke up before the Gay rebellion came over to where I reside, and started unleashing Gay ass Armageddon on us all.

This is no joke. I honestly did dream all this shit. Just a couple hours ago.
Damn, why can't I have a simple fucking dream where Tsubaki finally makes a new (R&B soul/Enka influenced) album for once?
I always have to dream this weird ass shit about Blonde midgets, murderous gays, & fine ass bitches like
Hoshino, Miku 星野美空 (Misora, whatever I don't care. She's hot that's all that matters.)



who turn out to be some insane underdground mob boss of the Peruvian/Brazilian faction of the Kinki (Osaka) prefecture.
It'd be nice to have a normal dream for once where I'm porking the hell out of her, rather than being car chased, about to get gunned down by the sexy ass beacth.